Why are you here?

It's been a while...

Funny how events turn out to be...

For I, am still not over you.

I did try...
Did you know that there was someone in my life I forced to fit your role?
Did you know that it was 8 months of nothing~ness....
We took the turn around two months ago and I didn't know the extent of all its seriousness
I recently found out that I was replaced quite easily
That they were cheating on me.

Actually, I was more like an exploration tool and now I'm suffering from the actions that I did not conduct and all this blame of why that person had become what they became was all on me.

I accept that it's a normal course of life. But in all sincerity, I do hope that both of us will get along with our lives just fine. Even if there's no "us".

But I'm not letting it all go. I'm giving you six months. That's all I'm giving you.

I get it now!

Trust.

It's trust.

I'll learn to trust you.

I could say I don't feel anything anymore

And I'm almost certain with that about you.

Though, I still imagine us together
Even though there's no us. there's never going to be.
I still imagine us together.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse

I dream about you again.

How immature for me to think that every single love song I listen to

Was relevant in our lives.

I never had you.

I'm too scared to ever have you

I'm too afraid to chase after you

I'm too cowardly and I think of the consequences


The road is too hard. And I'm not working hard enough

Even so, you never really existed in my realistic life in the way I wanted you to.

My thoughts of you are so vivid though...

I WANT I WANT

so badly.

It doesn't work.

I'm half hoping it never will

There is no your side it's always mine.

You taste like tequila.

Words can never express how I feel

so I let someone's thoughts run it.
I can never be more truer.

I'm leaning towards someone else now.

That person is sort of a reflection of you...you're never really someone that can be compared to...

or replaced.

Probably, if I had someone in the future

I'd treat them the same way I'd treat you

In my head.

Who knows.

One I gain people I'm a user, a person full of deciet

and extremely manipulative

By the end of the day, I'd want someone to control me

Not otherwise.

You're too...untouchable.

You wouldn't know.

I can never be able to comprehend why:

• I pretend there's an 'us' in the past, present and future.
• I'm still thinking about you than focusing on the better, 'healthier' options
• Thoughts of you would completely stop me from doing any progressive activity
• I am longing for your voice.

~ This list can go on forever...
                                   There's always going to be a full stop somewhere.